


Together

by WhatWilltheSkyBeSaying



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, I'm actually kinda sorry about how angsty this turned out to be, Lots of Angst, Oneshot, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatWilltheSkyBeSaying/pseuds/WhatWilltheSkyBeSaying
Summary: After Monty and Harper's videos are discovered, Bellamy and Clarke discuss the radio calls.





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first ever fanfiction and I am still reeling from the finale, so you'll have to forgive any mistakes or bad writing. Please leave kudos and comments! Criticism is important!

"What do you think it was like for Monty, after Harper died?"

Clarke inhaled sharply, looking up at Bellamy from her chair in the control room.

It had been three days since they had seen the video, and the three of them had been discussing the next steps. Jordan had left the room some thirty minutes before, having given them the final instructions that Monty had left behind. He had murmured something about the algae farm, and walked out slowly, head down. Clarke had taken that to mean that he wanted to be left alone, and she wasn't complaining. Every time she looked at him, she saw Harper's smile, and Monty's eyes. It hurt her, deeply, to see him. It would take some getting used to, even after the shock of losing them both had passed. Besides, it left her and Bellamy to talk about how they were going to wake up the rest of the survivors, and break the news to them. Except that wasn't what they were talking about.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because," he said, his voice gruff. "He was alone. He was alone when he died. I can't imagine..."

The unspoken "But you can," hung in the air. He looked at her briefly, then. In his eyes she saw his grief, and his worry, and his guilt - emotions he felt too often near her for her not to be able to notice them on sight, even after six, no, 131 years. But there was something else there that she couldn't place before he turned away from her and sat on top of the desk, facing the window. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke.

"He was happy with the life that they had chosen, Bellamy. They were both happy. Memories of that life, hope for the future...it helps people get by when everyone else is gone."

"Did it help you?"

For a moment, she wasn't even sure if he had really asked her that question. For a moment, she could imagine that it was just his voice inside her head, the one that she listened to when he was gone and she needed to know how to take care of Madi, or kill an animal, or build a home. For a moment, it was "whatever the hell we want," or "if you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you" or "I've got you for that." That is, until he turned to look at her again.

Fear. That's what it was, in his eyes. It was fear.

"I-" The words caught in her mouth. She swallowed her own pain back, her own guilt and suffering and panic and tried again. "It wasn't always enough," Bellamy nodded. "But I wasn't always alone." Bellamy took a deep breath, and she watched the way he shifted himself towards her. She knew that facial expression, his posture. He was preparing himself for something. His eyes flickered once to the computer screen where they had watched their friends' lives play before them, and she watched him close his eyes briefly, before looking into hers, timid.

"I know about the radio calls," Bellamy whispered. She looked away from him quickly, tears pooling in her eyes. Breathing suddenly became foreign to her, as if it was a language she didn't understand. "Madi told me, Clarke."

He paused, but he wasn't waiting for her to say anything. They absorbed this moment together, quietly. He was the one to break the silence.

"I- we thought you were dead. We all - we all thought you were dead. We grieved you. There wasn't a day that passed that you weren't there with us." His voice cracked. "If we had known that you were calling us, we would've fought to get down there faster, or at least find a way to get the signal through -"

"Bellamy-"

"And when Madi saved our lives and told us that you were in trouble, we-"

"I didn't call everyone on the Ring." Heat crawled up her cheeks. She met his confused gaze and fought the urge to puke. "I called you."

Silence, again.

She let a few tears fall before continuing. "You - I called you. I needed you to understand that I...that I was proud of you. That I was okay."

His voice shook. "You called me everyday to tell me that?" Unable to meet his eyes any longer, she reached out and traced his trembling hands with her fingers.

"Not really. Not later on, at least. In the beginning, I wanted to make contact and make sure you knew that I was alive. When I became unsure that I was going to survive, however, I needed you to know that...that it was okay that I got left behind." 

"Clarke..." There was so much unsaid in his gaze, but she knew. 

"Stop feeling guilty. I mean it, Bellamy. You don't deserve it. My life, Monty and Harper's life. It's a choice that we all made. All we get to decide from here on out is what we do with the rest of our lives, with this new world, with our families."

They were quiet for a moment, her fingers hovering over a scar on his wrist, his eyes lingering on her brow. All, "If you want forgiveness, I'll give that to you." All, "You did good, Bellamy." All, "You've got such a big heart."

A kiss on her forehead, and holding his hand.

"We're in this together, right?" He asked.

"No matter what." She promised.


End file.
